Lately my feelings have been all over the place.

Change in weather, getting ready for the holidays, getting ready for our daughter’s first birthday.

Reflecting on the past few months of so many things going on–the art show, events, travel, family obligations, work obligations.

And I’ve been taking an emotional and spiritual temperature check.

One thing I’m coming to terms with is that I don’t do well going out on weeknights.

It never used to bother me.

I used to love it.

Especially back in my theatre days weeknights were for rehearsal, drinking, and party ‘lite.’ Party heavy was for the weekend…but party lite was my excuse to have a few drinks after work.

There was a decade in there where I was out and about almost every weeknight.

I look back on it and wonder how the hell I did that.

Lately, even when I attend events I look forward to on weeknights, it leaves me feeling anxious, behind, and physically exhausted for the following couple of days.

I’m not sure if now it’s because I don’t have the luxury of playing sleep catch up on weekends (in case you all didn’t know this…babies wake up at the same time regardless of the day…!) or if it’s that I’m officially old (re: mid-30’s) but I just can’t do it anymore.

I also realize now that during my twenties and early thirties I was probably self medicating with alcohol instead of actually taking the time to restore.

I’ve been thinking of doing a 2019 experiment where I say, “No” to everything on a weeknight so that I can say “Yes” to doing things on the weekend.

I feel like lately I haven’t had any time for quiet.

For reflection.

For silence.

And my brain really needs that to reset.

I need it emotionally to be able to be there and support others.

I’m continuing to think on it….but I’m feeling like it’s the right way to go for me.

How about you all?

Are you thinking of trying anything new for 2019 to allow yourself space?

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

---

Thanks for reading and happy sobering friends!