Sober in Vegas: Sitting with difficult emotions

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Lately I have been all over the map in terms of emotions.

I’ve snapped at people close to me, I’ve had a few self-loathing spirals, I just haven’t generally felt myself.

In the past alcohol was the solution to these cycles.

It made the frustration pass quickly and after a few weeks of benders I’d created new problems I could concentrate on so that the subtle more existential ones didn’t need to be ruminated on.

But now without my quick fix cycle of destruction, I have to sit with these feelings.

And I’ve been trying to get to the bottom of what’s really going on when I have these more complicated emotions or reactions.

When I start to get snarky and cut down a friend who has recently told me about her success, the truth is I’m jealous.

When I start to get frustrated because I don’t know what my daughter wants or why she’s crying, the truth is that sometimes kiddos just cry…and I didn’t do anything wrong.

When I start to feel angry with a stranger for something ‘they’ve done to me’ like cut me off while driving, the truth is they haven’t really done anything ‘to me’, they’re just living their life and probably didn’t even notice my car was there.

When I start to pick at my spouse and act unkind, the truth is I’m feeling out of control in my own life and taking my frustration out on him.

When I start to skip nourishing meals and substitute them with candy, doughnuts, and coffee, the truth is I’m trying to create a self-fulfilling prophesy that I’m not worthy of good health.

When I start to feel sorry for myself and spiral into self-loathing, the truth is I’ve forgotten how far I’ve come in the past few years.

When I start to have panic attacks, the truth is I probably need to make an appointment with my therapist.

When I start to want to drink alcohol to make all of the above feelings and thoughts go away, the truth is it won’t make these problems vanish. It will only make me feel depressed.

What will make all of these feelings, thoughts, ramblings, and micro-agressions towards others better?

Being honest about what is really going on under the surface.

Physical and mental rest.

Asking for help.

Breathing.

Physical activity.

A trip to the library.

Meditation and mindfulness practice.

A therapy session.

Turning off netflix.

Writing.

Stretching.

A walk outside.

Drinking more water.

Eating well.

And taking the time to examine what’s below the surface.

What about you my friends?

What helps you when you start to see negative subtext in your lives and interactions?


Thanks for reading and happy sobering friends!

 

 

 

10 thoughts on “Sober in Vegas: Sitting with difficult emotions

  1. Bake. Pinterest (when i save stuff then I know what my passions are) I like to write lists & check things off. I do “Lori Love” on Sunday nights. I wash my sheets, give myself a long foot soak & pedi while watching TV and use my favorite face/eye moisturizers.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I find it so hard to not take the baby cries personal. It’s one of the reasons that when my partner tries to do a hand off mid-meltdown, I try to refuse. All of a sudden, everything I’ve been doing the whole time finally “works” (or the issue baby experienced passes). Otherwise, I end up feeling incompetent.
    Generally for me, I find that going to bed early also helps. I listened to this NPR clip on a Yale course on Happiness, which listed certain things that I’ve been working on: 30 minutes activity 5 days a week, sleeping 7-8 hours every night, meditation, gratitude journaling, and seeing people in real life (which maybe was tied to less social media). I’ve been trying to do the sleep (though broken up with infant middle of the night feeds), exercise and gratitude journaling so far.
    I hope you’re feeling better.
    Oh, and I’ve found this easier advice to give than take. When saying something self-loathing or just not self- loving, consider how you’d speak to your child about it. Likely, you’ll be a little easier on yourself as a result. I do believe we’re all just kids with a few more years and a few more tricks.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. ❤ yes yes yes and yes. i totally know what you mean about it being hard not to take the baby cries personally! and man, the sleep thing is SO REAL. even sometimes if I can manage to get 5 hours in a row I feel better….and real life vs social media…YES to that too. Hang in there my friend, we are all in this together. ❤

      Like

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